Fatwa ID: 09152
Answered by Muftiyah Humairah Badshah
Question:
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh
I am a young man from Afghanistan, following the Hanafi school of thought. I am confused about a religious oath I made and need your guidance. Please consider the following details carefully.
Chronological Details of the Case:
- First Marriage Contract (Engagement Ceremony):
On April 27, 2024, I held an engagement ceremony. The formal offer and acceptance (Ijab-o-Qubool) for marriage were completed, and the Nikah contract was validly executed. However, no dowry (Mahr) was specified or mentioned at that time.
- The Oath (The Main Issue):
On September 1, 2025 (after the first Nikah but before the wedding ceremony), due to intense anger and frustration with my own family and relatives, I uttered the following sentence:
“If I have my wedding with my father’s money (i.e., if he pays for the wedding expenses), then my wife will be like my sister and my mother for me.”
Please pay close attention to three very important points regarding this oath:
- The Addressee: I never said this sentence directly to my wife. Not at that time, nor ever since.
- My Wife’s Knowledge: My wife has absolutely no knowledge of this matter to this day and has never heard this statement.
- My Intention (Niyyah): My intention was neither divorce nor Zihar. My sole intention was to express anger and frustration towards my own family due to family disputes. I had no religious intention to make my wife forbidden for myself.
- Second Marriage Contract (Wedding Ceremony):
On September 12, 2025, I held the wedding ceremony. During this ceremony, the Nikah contract was performed again, this time with the complete specification and mention of the Mahr (dowry).
My Questions for You:
Given the details above, especially that the oath was not directed at my wife, she is unaware of it, and my intention was not Zihar:
- Is this oath of mine considered Zihar (requiring the expiation of Zihar, which makes marital relations forbidden until expiation) or is it considered a regular oath (Yameen) ?
- If it is a regular oath (Yameen), what is its expiation (Kaffarah)?
- Previously, thinking it was Zihar, I fasted for seven consecutive days in the month of Shawwal with the intention of Kaffarah for Zihar. If your ruling is that this is a regular oath, can these seven fasts count towards the Kaffarah of Yameen?
Jazakallah Khair for your guidance.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
Zihar will likely have occurred, and so you must fast two consecutive months.
The exact statement ‘then my wife will be like my sister and my mother for me’ pronounced after your valid nikah could have multiple meanings.[1] You could have meant that your wife was prohibited upon you, and so zihar would occur.[1] Conversely, you could have meant divorce, and so one divorce would occur.[1]
Based on the statement alone, the meaning of honouring your wife (or a lack of intention which would be assumed to be honouring your wife) could be said to be included in the possibilities of your statement.[1] However, in your specific case of anger and argumentation wherein the statement was attached to a negative event, it would not be believed that your intention was to honour your wife.[2]
Due to the circumstances of the statement and its specific, non-idle and unusual wording, the leastmost assumption would be that zihar did indeed take place. Note here that in cases wherein your intention is the deciding factor, you must be honest regarding your intention. This is a matter of personal responsibility, and it is necessary for you to be completely honest regardless of the outcome. Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: “It is obligatory for you to tell the truth, for truth leads to virtue and virtue leads to Paradise, and the man who continues to speak the truth and endeavours to tell the truth is eventually recorded as truthful with Allah, and beware of telling of a lie for telling of a lie leads to obscenity and obscenity leads to Hell-Fire, and the person who keeps telling lies and endeavours to tell a lie is recorded as a liar with Allah.” [Sahih Muslim 2607c] [3]
Also understand that ‘intention’ is what a person directly and actually means by a statement in the heat of the moment, not whether they desire that action to have real-world consequences, whether they dislike those consequences, or whether they have fully thought through the repercussions of their actions. Consider the statements usually used to express such emotions by yourself or your community when honestly evaluating your intention.
Be aware that statements of divorce and zihar are highly dependent on language and culture.[4] You should consult a qualified scholar from your local area who shares your language regarding the exact words you used, especially if you were not communicating in English.
In a case of zihar, the expiation of zihar is necessary if you wish to have relations with your wife.[5] You must fast for two entire consecutive months (wherein neither Ramadhan nor the days of Eid occur) without ever having relations with your wife, whether during the day or night.[6] After this, your ability to have marital relations will be fully restored.
Your wife’s lack of knowledge of the situation does not have any effect. In the case of zihar, your second ‘nikah’ will also not have any effect.
Only Allah ﷻ knows best.
Written by Muftiyah Humairah Badshah
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
References:
[1]
لَوْ قَالَ لَهَا: أَنْتِ أُمِّي لَا يَكُونُ مُظَاهِرًا وَيَنْبَغِي أَنْ يَكُونَ مَكْرُوهًا وَمِثْلُهُ أَنْ يَقُولَ: يَا ابْنَتِي وَيَا أُخْتِي وَنَحْوُهُ وَلَوْ قَالَ لَهَا: أَنْتِ مِثْلُ أُمِّي أَوْ كَأُمِّي يَنْوِي فَإِنْ نَوَى الطَّلَاقَ وَقَعَ بَائِنًا وَإِنْ نَوَى الْكَرَامَةَ أَوْ الظِّهَارَ فَكَمَا نَوَى هَكَذَا فِي فَتْحِ الْقَدِيرِ وَإِنْ لَمْ تَكُنْ لَهُ نِيَّةٌ فَعَلَى قَوْلِ أَبِي حَنِيفَةَ – رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى – لَا يَلْزَمُهُ شَيْءٌ حَمْلًا لِلَّفْظِ عَلَى مَعْنَى الْكَرَامَةِ كَذَا فِي الْجَامِعِ الصَّغِيرِ وَالصَّحِيحُ قَوْلُهُ هَكَذَا فِي غَايَةِ الْبَيَانِ
وَإِنْ نَوَى التَّحْرِيمَ اخْتَلَفَتْ الرِّوَايَاتُ فِيهِ وَالصَّحِيحُ أَنَّهُ يَكُونُ ظِهَارًا عِنْدَ الْكُلِّ
قَالَ لَهَا: أَنْتِ مِثْلُ أُمِّي وَلَمْ يَقُلْ: عَلَيَّ وَلَمْ يَنْوِ شَيْئًا لَا يَلْزَمُهُ فِي قَوْلِهِمْ كَذَا فِي فَتَاوَى قَاضِي خَانْ
Al-Fataawa Al-Hindiyyah (Daar Al-Fikr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.507
[2]
وَإِنْ نَوَى بِأَنْتِ عَلَيَّ مِثْلُ أُمِّي) ، أَوْ كَأُمِّي، وَكَذَا لَوْ حَذَفَ عَلَيَّ خَانِيَّةٌ (بِرًّا، أَوْ ظِهَارًا، أَوْ طَلَاقًا صَحَّتْ نِيَّتُهُ) وَوَقَعَ مَا نَوَاهُ لِأَنَّهُ كِنَايَةٌ (وَإِلَّا) يَنْوِ شَيْئًا، أَوْ حَذَفَ الْكَافَ (لَغَا) وَتَعَيَّنَ الْأَدْنَى أَيْ الْبِرُّ، يَعْنِي الْكَرَامَةَ. وَيُكْرَهُ قَوْلُهُ أَنْتِ أُمِّي وَيَا ابْنَتِي وَيَا أُخْتِي وَنَحْوَهُ
…
(قَوْلُهُ: وَإِنْ نَوَى إلَخْ) بَيَانٌ لِكِنَايَاتِ الظِّهَارِ، وَأَشَارَ إلَى أَنَّ تَصْرِيحَهُ لَا بُدَّ فِيهِ مِنْ ذِكْرِ الْعُضْوِ بَحْرٌ (قَوْلُهُ: لِأَنَّهُ كِنَايَةٌ) أَيْ مِنْ كِنَايَاتِ الظِّهَارِ وَالطَّلَاقِ. قَالَ فِي الْبَحْرِ: وَإِذَا نَوَى بِهِ الطَّلَاقَ كَانَ بَائِنًا كَلَفْظِ الْحَرَامِ، وَإِنْ نَوَى الْإِيلَاءَ فَهُوَ إيلَاءٌ عِنْدَ أَبِي يُوسُفَ، وَظِهَارٌ عِنْدَ مُحَمَّدٍ. وَالصَّحِيحُ أَنَّهُ ظِهَارٌ عِنْدَ الْكُلِّ لِأَنَّهُ تَحْرِيمٌ مُؤَكَّدٌ بِالتَّشْبِيهِ. اهـ. وَنَظَرَ فِيهِ فِي الْفَتْحِ بِأَنَّهُ إنَّمَا يَتَّجِهُ فِي ” أَنْتِ عَلَيَّ حَرَامٌ كَأُمِّي “، وَالْكَلَامُ فِي مُجَرَّدِ أَنْتِ كَأُمِّي اهـ أَيْ بِدُونِ لَفْظِ ” حَرَامٌ “. قُلْت: وَقَدْ يُجَابُ بِأَنَّ الْحُرْمَةَ مُرَادَةٌ وَإِنْ لَمْ تُذْكَرْ صَرِيحًا. هَذَا، وَقَالَ الْخَيْرُ الرَّمْلِيُّ: وَكَذَا لَوْ نَوَى الْحُرْمَةَ الْمُجَرَّدَةَ يَنْبَغِي أَنْ يَكُونَ ظِهَارًا، وَيَنْبَغِي أَنْ لَا يُصَدَّقَ قَضَاءً فِي إرَادَةِ الْبِرِّ إذَا كَانَ فِي حَالِ الْمُشَاجَرَةِ وَذِكْرِ الطَّلَاقِ. اهـ. (قَوْلُهُ: أَوْ حَذَفَ الْكَافَ) بِأَنْ قَالَ: أَنْتِ أُمِّي، وَمِنْ بَعْضِ الظَّنِّ جَعْلُهُ مِنْ بَابِ زَيْدٌ أَسَدٌ دُرٌّ مُنْتَقًى عَنْ الْقُهُسْتَانِيِّ
قُلْت: وَيَدُلُّ عَلَيْهِ مَا نَذْكُرُهُ عَنْ الْفَتْحِ مِنْ أَنَّهُ لَا بُدَّ مِنْ التَّصْرِيحِ بِالْأَدَاةِ (قَوْلُهُ: لَغَا لِأَنَّهُ مُجْمَلٌ فِي حَقِّ التَّشْبِيهِ فَمَا لَمْ يَتَبَيَّنْ مُرَادٌ مَخْصُوصٌ لَا يُحْكَمُ بِشَيْءٍ فَتْحٌ (قَوْلُهُ: وَيُكْرَهُ إلَخْ) جَزَمَ بِالْكَرَاهَةِ تَبَعًا لِلْبَحْرِ وَالنَّهْرِ وَاَلَّذِي فِي الْفَتْحِ: وَفِي أَنْتِ أُمِّي لَا يَكُونُ مُظَاهِرًا، وَيَنْبَغِي أَنْ يَكُونَ مَكْرُوهًا، فَقَدْ صَرَّحُوا بِأَنَّ قَوْلَهُ لِزَوْجَتِهِ يَا أُخَيَّةُ مَكْرُوهٌ. وَفِيهِ حَدِيثٌ رَوَاهُ أَبُو دَاوُد «أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ – صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ – سَمِعَ رَجُلًا يَقُولُ لِامْرَأَتِهِ يَا أُخَيَّةُ فَكَرِهَ ذَلِكَ وَنَهَى عَنْهُ» وَمَعْنَى النَّهْيِ قُرْبُهُ مِنْ لَفْظِ التَّشْبِيهِ، وَلَوْلَا هَذَا الْحَدِيثُ لَأَمْكَنَ أَنْ يُقَالَ هُوَ ظِهَارٌ لِأَنَّ التَّشْبِيهَ فِي أَنْتِ أُمِّي أَقْوَى مِنْهُ مَعَ ذِكْرِ الْأَدَاةِ، وَلَفْظُ ” يَا أُخَيَّةُ ” اسْتِعَارَةٌ بِلَا شَكٍّ، وَهِيَ مَبْنِيَّةٌ عَلَى التَّشْبِيهِ، لَكِنَّ الْحَدِيثَ أَفَادَ كَوْنَهُ لَيْسَ ظِهَارًا حَيْثُ لَمْ يُبَيِّنْ فِيهِ حُكْمًا سِوَى الْكَرَاهَةِ وَالنَّهْيِ، فَعُلِمَ أَنَّهُ لَا بُدَّ فِي كَوْنِهِ ظِهَارًا مِنْ التَّصْرِيحِ بِأَدَاةِ التَّشْبِيهِ شَرْعًا، وَمِثْلُهُ أَنْ يَقُولَ لَهَا يَا بِنْتِي، أَوْ يَا أُخْتِي وَنَحْوَهُ. اهـ. (قَوْلُهُ: مِنْ ظِهَارٍ) لِأَنَّهُ شَبَّهَهَا فِي الْحُرْمَةِ بِأُمِّهِ وَهُوَ إذَا شَبَّهَهَا بِظَهْرِهَا يَكُونُ مُظَاهِرًا فَبِكُلِّهَا أَوْلَى نَهْرٌ (قَوْلُهُ: أَوْ طَلَاقٍ) لِأَنَّ هَذَا اللَّفْظَ مِنْ الْكِنَايَاتِ، وَبِهَا يَقَعُ الطَّلَاقُ بِالنِّيَّةِ، أَوْ دَلَالَةِ الْحَالِ عَلَى مَا مَرَّ، وَقَوْلُهُ: كَأُمِّي تَأْكِيدٌ لِلْحُرْمَةِ؛ وَلَمْ أَرَ مَا لَوْ قَامَتْ دَلَالَةٌ عَلَى إرَادَةِ الطَّلَاقِ، بِأَنْ سَأَلَتْهُ إيَّاهُ وَقَالَ نَوَيْت الظِّهَارَ نَهْرٌ
قُلْت: يَنْبَغِي أَنْ لَا يُصَدَّقَ، لِأَنَّ دَلَالَةَ الْحَالِ قَرِينَةٌ ظَاهِرَةٌ تُقَدَّمُ عَلَى النِّيَّةِ فِي بَابِ الْكِنَايَاتِ فَلَا يُصَدَّقُ فِي نِيَّةِ الْأَدْنَى لِأَنَّ فِيهِ تَخْفِيفًا عَلَيْهِ تَأَمَّلْ هَذَا، وَلَمْ يُبَيِّنْ فِي هَذِهِ الْمَسْأَلَةِ مَا إذَا نَوَى الْإِيلَاءَ، أَوْ مُجَرَّدَ التَّحْرِيمِ. وَفِي التَّتَارْخَانِيَّة عَنْ الْمُحِيطِ: وَإِنْ نَوَى التَّحْرِيمَ لَا غَيْرُ صَحَّتْ نِيَّتُهُ. وَفِيهَا عَنْ الْخَانِيَّةِ: إنْ نَوَى الطَّلَاقَ، أَوْ الظِّهَارَ أَوْ الْإِيلَاءَ فَهُوَ عَلَى مَا نَوَى. قَالَ الْخَيْرُ الرَّمْلِيُّ: وَإِذَا قُلْنَا بِصِحَّةِ نِيَّةِ التَّحْرِيمِ يَكُونُ إيلَاءً عِنْدَ أَبِي يُوسُفَ، وَظِهَارًا عِنْدَ مُحَمَّدٍ. وَعَلَى مَا صُحِّحَ فِيمَ
Radd Al-Muhtaar (Halabi ed., Daar Al-Fikr, https://shamela.ws) v.3 p.470
[3]
حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ نُمَيْرٍ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو مُعَاوِيَةَ، وَوَكِيعٌ، قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا الأَعْمَشُ، ح وَحَدَّثَنَا أَبُو كُرَيْبٍ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو مُعَاوِيَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا الأَعْمَشُ، عَنْ شَقِيقٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم “ عَلَيْكُمْ بِالصِّدْقِ فَإِنَّ الصِّدْقَ يَهْدِي إِلَى الْبِرِّ وَإِنَّ الْبِرَّ يَهْدِي إِلَى الْجَنَّةِ وَمَا يَزَالُ الرَّجُلُ يَصْدُقُ وَيَتَحَرَّى الصِّدْقَ حَتَّى يُكْتَبَ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ صِدِّيقًا وَإِيَّاكُمْ وَالْكَذِبَ فَإِنَّ الْكَذِبَ يَهْدِي إِلَى الْفُجُورِ وَإِنَّ الْفُجُورَ يَهْدِي إِلَى النَّارِ وَمَا يَزَالُ الرَّجُلُ يَكْذِبُ وَيَتَحَرَّى الْكَذِبَ حَتَّى يُكْتَبَ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ كَذَّابًا ” .
Sahih Muslim (https://sunnah.com) b.45, no.136 (2607c)
[4]
اَلْعَادَةُ مُحَكَّمَةٌ
Al-Qawaaid Al-Fiqhiyyah (Daar Al-Tirmidy ed.) p.46
اَلتَّعْيِيْنُ بِالۡعُرۡفِ كَالتَّعْيِيْن بِالنَّص
…
فَمَثَلاً : مَنْ قَالَ : ( عَلَىَّ الطَّلَاقِ ) قَدۡ أَصْبَحَ هَذَا اللَّفْظُ فِيْ حَقِّهِ مُعَادِلاً لِقَوۡلِهِ : أُنْتِ طَالِق ) لِأَنَّ الْعُرْفَ . سَوَّى بَيْنَهُمَا فِي الْاِسْتِعْمَالِ
Al-Qawaaid Al-Fiqhiyyah (Daar Al-Tirmidy ed.) p.55
قَوْلُهُ وَرُكْنُهُ لَفْظٌ مَخْصُوصٌ) هُوَ مَا جُعِلَ دَلَالَةً عَلَى مَعْنَى الطَّلَاقِ مِنْ صَرِيحٍ أَوْ كِنَايَةٍ
Radd Al-Muhtaar (Halabi ed., Daar Al-Fitr, https://shamela.ws) v.3 p.230
[5]
لْبَابُ الْعَاشِرُ فِي الْكَفَّارَةِ]
ِ الْكَفَّارَةُ: إنَّمَا تَجِبُ عَلَى الْمُظَاهِرِ إذَا قَصَدَ وَطْأَهَا بَعْدَ الظِّهَارِ وَإِنْ رَضِيَ أَنْ تَكُونَ مُحَرَّمَةً عَلَيْهِ بِالظِّهَارِ وَلَا يَعْزِمُ عَلَى وَطْئِهَا لَمْ تَجِبْ عَلَيْهِ الْكَفَّارَةُ أَمَّا إذَا عَزَمَ عَلَى وَطْئِهَا وَوَجَبَتْ عَلَيْهِ الْكَفَّارَةُ فَيُجْبَرُ عَلَى التَّكْفِيرِ فَإِنْ عَزَمَ بَعْدَ ذَلِكَ أَنْ لَا يَطَأَهَا سَقَطَتْ عَنْهُ الْكَفَّارَةُ وَكَذَا لَوْ مَاتَ أَحَدُهُمَا بَعْدَ الْعَزْمِ كَذَا فِي الْيَنَابِيعِ
Al-Fataawa Al-Hindiyyah (Daar Al-Fikr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.509
[6]
إذَا لَمْ يَجِدْ الْمُظَاهِرُ مَا يُعْتِقُ فَكَفَّارَتُهُ صَوْمُ شَهْرَيْنِ مُتَتَابِعَيْنِ لَيْسَ فِيهِمَا رَمَضَانُ وَلَا يَوْمُ الْفِطْرِ وَلَا يَوْمُ النَّحْرِ، وَلَا أَيَّامُ التَّشْرِيقِ كَذَا فِي غَايَةِ الْبَيَانِ.
لَوْ جَامَعَ امْرَأَتَهُ الَّتِي ظَاهَرَ مِنْهَا بِالنَّهَارِ نَاسِيًا وَبِاللَّيْلِ عَامِدًا أَوْ نَاسِيًا فَإِنَّهُ يَسْتَقْبِلُ الصَّوْمَ عِنْدَ أَبِي حَنِيفَةَ وَمُحَمَّدٍ – رَحِمَهُمَا اللَّهُ تَعَالَى – وَلَوْ جَامَعَهَا بِالنَّهَارِ عَامِدًا اسْتَأْنَفَ بِالِاتِّفَاقِ كَذَا فِي شَرْحِ الطَّحَاوِيِّ
Al-Fataawa Al-Hindiyyah (Daar Al-Fikr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.512