Opposing the parents and getting married without their consent
In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful.
Answer
The initial view of the Hanafi school of thought was that the marriage of a free sane adult woman without the approval of her guardian is valid if the person she is marrying is a legal and suitable match for her in terms of their religion, independence, lineage and possession. If the person happens to be unsuitable for her in terms of the aforementioned categories then the marriage will be deemed invalid.
However due to the corrupt nature of society today (Fasad-zaman), if a free, sane adult women gets married without her guardians consent, the marriage will be valid irrespective of whether the man is a suitable match for her or not. (Raddul-Muhtar p157v4)
According to the teachings of Imam Shafee, Imam Malik and Imam Ahmed bin Hanbal (RA) it is necessary for a woman to seek permission from her guardian in order to get married.
“The Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam has said, “There is no marriage without the consent of the guardians.” (Sunan Abu Dawud P284v1 & Sunan Ibn Majah p135 v1)
Respecting and pleasing our parents are paramount. Therefore, my advice will be to speak to your parents about this proposal. If Allah wills your parents will understand your feelings for this proposal and will give their blessings to it.
By all means try not to displease your parents by marrying without their happiness and consent even though as mentioned above the marriage will be done.
Sayyiduna Abu Bakrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
As for all those other sins, Allah Ta’ala defers whichever He wills up to the Last Day of Qiyamah – except the sin of depriving parents of their rights and disobeying them. The punishment for that is given, much before the Hereafter comes, right here in this world as well. [Bayhaqi, Shuab Al-Imaan]
Only Allah Knows Best
Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham.
