Fatwa ID: 04495

Answered by: Maulana Mujahid Hussain

Question

I'm in a very heartbroken state and need some guidance. I have been married for 6 years and I came to know that 4 years ago my husband did Halala to help a female friend get back with her first husband. He said that he just wanted to help her because she had 3 children and felt very sorry for her and had no intention to have sex with her as part of nikah but he got carried away and did sex also. He divorced her a few days later. After that, the lady blackmailed him that she will tell me everything and for several years my husband kept paying her money to keep her mouth shut. But her demands kept increasing and he couldn't meet them and so she told me everything. Soon after that lady told me what my husband did I came to know that I am pregnant. This is my first pregnancy but I am having a very difficult period emotionally. My husband is extremely sorry and does not want to lose me and is begging me for a second chance. I want to forgive him because I love him but it's very difficult and I am really struggling. If I get a divorce will Allah be unhappy with me?

Will Allah not forgive me for my sins because I did not forgive my husband? I don't know what to do.  I'm very confused.

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم

In the name of Allah the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

Answer

I am sorry to hear about your situation. May Allah (S.W.T.) make it easy for you. May you experience joy as you are experiencing difficulty. Ameen.

I can only advise you here. You are best placed to make a final decision.

My advice would be that you do not rush to a decision of divorce, rather stay with him conditionally. I will mention some reasons for my advice first and then how should you go forward from here.

• From what you have told me, this or something similar has not taken place, before and since this unfortunate event. This shows that he does really care for you, it’s either a case of twisted thinking or emotional instability which may have to lead him to do such a thing.
• He is begging you to stay. That’s also a good sign that he does truly care for you.
• As you have mentioned, you are pregnant. You now also have to think for your child, not just for yourself and it may be in your child’s interest that you give the child’s father a second chance.
• You do love him. I can tell you, having dealt with my family cases, you are in a privileged position. I have come across many sisters who can’t say the same about their husbands.
• Pregnancy is a very difficult time, both physically and emotionally, you will need a lot of support from your husband.
• Inshallah once your child is born, the father will naturally have a lot more desire to make the marriage work. Plus, he will have a lot more to lose if he ever thought of doing something similar again.
• The fact that he constantly spent money to cover his mistake before exposure, and now he begs you to stay, shoes he is committed to you.

However, it may be a bad idea for you to easily forgive him and let things continue as they were. This will leave no deterrent to prevent him from doing anything similar again. Yes, it’s unlikely he will carry out something similar anytime soon due to the remorse and the embarrassment being fresh on his mind. However, a few years down the line you can’t be so sure. After all, it took him two years after your marriage to do this. So I suggest you make it clear to him this is his final chance and continue in marriage with appropriate demand or conditions.

Also, the Halala he performed was a severely disliked act. A woman should get married to a second husband naturally without the intention of divorce. Likewise, marriage should be consummated. If for some reason the second marriage does not work out, then only is the first husband at liberty to marry her again.

The Prophet ( P.B.U.H.) said

عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، وَعَنِ الْحَارِثِ، عَنْ عَلِيّ، قَالاَ إِنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم لَعَنَ الْمُحِلَّ وَالْمُحَلَّلَ لَهُ

Jabir bin Abdullah and Ali narrated:

"The Messenger of Allah cursed the Muhill and the one the Muhallal was done for." (Sunan Tirmidhi)

Only Allah Knows best.

Written by Maulana Mujahid Hussain

Checked and approved by Mufti Tosir Miah 

Darul Ifta Birmingham