Fatwa ID:05076

Answered by: Alimah Sofia Mirza

Question

Please guide me on this issue.  I am in a long-enduring abusive marriage.  My husband does not respect me at all, and I have to share a bedroom with my teen daughter. I have two teens for whom I’ve come back home repeatedly after deciding to leave after violent episodes. I was made a lot of promises just 2 months ago and I believed again.  My in-laws have a big hand in my issues.  My husband is now buying a home without me and I’m scared to join as I will have nothing to my name and the abuse will likely get worse when I have no rights in his home. I’m in social housing and the lease is in both names.

I’m stuck and been made a fool once again and cannot approach my family anymore.  I’m so scared and do not want to jeopardize my kid’s future.

What should I do, my father-in-law that intervened in my situation previously are no longer taking my calls as my husband has instructed them

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

Answer:

May Allah make your situation easy for you and give you further patience. It is mentioned in Surah Inshiraah “Indeed with difficulty comes ease”, this world is a place of test and tribulations as mentioned in the Hadith “ The world is a believer prison and an unbelievers paradise”[1], it should be remembered that everything that you are going through Allah will be rewarding you for this and will compensate you either in this world or the hereafter and hence patience and prayers should be held steadfast as a believer can gain happiness and comfort as well as salvation in prayers and supplication to Allah. It is also important to understand that if a marriage is not working after countless efforts and there is a fear of endangerment of your life or wellbeing as well as your kids the Sharia’h has allowed a woman to apply for Khul’aa or separation from the husband in order to leave at a mutual agreement. If the husband continuously abuses the wife this is not a practice endorsed by Islam as women have been given an esteemed position and the Prophet time and again would advise the men to treat the women kindly and with respect as Allah has made the spouses confide with each other. Hence it is best that if there is no method of reconciliation that you take into consideration your own as well as your kid’s wellbeing in order to come to a decision.

Only Allah knows best

Written by Alimah Sofia Mirza

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham

[1] Tirmizi, Darus Salam, Vol 4, No. 2324.