How to repent from falling in love with an unlawful man

CategoriesMarriage [577]

Fatwa ID: 01607

Answered by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Question:

What is my punishment as I am committed zina related things like I loved a Muslim man who was chosen by the parents of me and the man for me to marry. Before the marriage we started talking after that he broke his promise and he rejected me and he married another girl. In this situation I became a sinner as I am nearer to zina,(talking with him, loving him by heart also zina) I cried a lot in front of Allah, to purify my heart and I want repentance, I am not getting satisfaction after repentace, I am doubting whether Allah forgive me or not? What should I do to clear all my sins, I want to clear my heart.so please advise me.

Answer:

Bismillah

In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful.

In general, to think about an unlawful man is considered to be part of adultery and zina as mentioned in the following hadith of Sahih Bukhari. 

Saaiduna Abu Hurairah raḍyAllāhu 'anhu (may Allāh be pleased with him) narrates that the Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, “Allah has written the very portion of zina which a man may indulge in. There will be no escape from it.  The zina of the eye is the lustful look, the zina of the ears is the listening, the zina of the tongue is the speech, the zina of the hand is the grip, the zina of the feet is the walking (to the place to commit zina), the heart yearns and desires and the private parts approve all that or disprove it.” (Sahih Bukhari)

It should be borne in mind that adultery (zina) is one of the major sins in Islam. In the Holy Quran Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) has said “And do not go near to zina. It is shamelessness and is an evil way.” (Bani Israeel v.32)

Such a person will not only suffer punishment and calamity in this world, but also in the hereafter. Worst of all he/she invites the wrath of Allah upon himself.

Those Ahadeeth which condemn adultery and fornication are as follows:

The Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, there is no sin which is more severe in the eyes of Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) after committing shirk than a person planting his semen into a womb, which is unlawful.” (Kanzul Ummal)

The Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, “Allah’s anger becomes intense upon the fornicators.” (Kanzul Ummal)

Therefore, one should abstain from such actions, which will invite the wrath of Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) and repent for one’s actions. However, this does not mean you can’t do anything about it. Allah is the Most Merciful, the Most Kind and he forgives all our sins if we sincerely repent for our shortcomings however grave and serious it may be.    

The following are some ahadith which have been taken from Imam Nawawi’s Riyadhus Saliheen indicating towards the merciful nature of Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He).

Saaiduna Abu Hurairah raḍyAllāhu 'anhu (may Allāh be pleased with him) reports that I heard the Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) saying: "By Allah, I seek Allah's forgiveness and repent to Him more than seventy times a day.'' (Sahih Bukhari).

Saaiduna Al-Agharr bin Yasar Al-Muzani raḍyAllāhu 'anhu (may Allāh be pleased with him) narrated that: The Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said: "Turn you people in repentance to Allah and beg pardon of Him. I turn to Him in repentance a hundred times a day".
(Sahih Muslim).

Saaiduna Anas bin Malik raḍyAllāhu 'anhu (may Allāh be pleased with him) the servant of the Prophet of Allah narrated: The Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, "Verily, Allah is more delighted with the repentance of His slave than a person who lost his camel in a desert land and then finds it (unexpectedly)".
(Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim).

Saaiduna Abu Musa Al-Ash`ari  raḍyAllāhu 'anhu (may Allāh be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said: "Allah, the Exalted, will continue to stretch out His Hand in the night so that the sinners of the day may repent, and continue to stretch His Hand in the daytime so that the sinners of the night may repent, until the sun rises from the west". (Sahih Muslim)

Saaiduna Abu Hurairah  raḍyAllāhu 'anhu (may Allāh be pleased with him)  narrated: The Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, “He who repents before the sun rises from the west, Allah will forgive him”.(Sahih Muslim].

The scholars have written if the sin committed is related to Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He), like adultery related things, then there are 3 conditions for the repentance of the sinner to be accepted.

1.      Refrains from committing the same sin again.

2.      Feels ashamed at what he has done.

3.      Makes a firm intention of not committing that sin again.

I understand the situation you are in at the moment. The man you thought you will marry and spend the rest of the life with broke his promise and married someone else. There are two points I want to mention about your situation.

Firstly, as people say "time is the best healer". At the moment the emotions are raw, but Insha Allah by the will of Allah in a few months the scars of this break up will heal. In the meantime occupy your time with something else. You just need to forget the trauma. As it is the month of Ramadhan it may be good to do a Quran Khatm or attend some lectures or talks being given in your local area.

Secondly, think of this situation to be a blessing in disguise. This man broke your heart and broke a promise by not marrying you. Imagine he had done that on the actual wedding day or after the marriage, the trauma then would have been unbearable. It may have been Allah’s blessings upon you that this man may not have been a good husband for you; thus, Allah the Almighty did not make it happen.

Only Allah Knows Best

Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham.

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