Fatwa ID: 09363
Answered by Muftiyah Maryam Badshah
Question:
As Salaam Alaikum,
I have a question, and would be highly obliged if you could answer
So I basically have a cousin.
He is not serious about religion at all – he doesn’t eat halal food, smokes, does weed, doesn’t pray except the Jumah (sometimes).
He has gotten his marriage “fixed” with a girl. Basically, his proposal was accepted. They aren’t legally or Islamically married yet. For the purpose of maintaining relations (as I live in his parents house), I have to accompany him sometimes with the girl – they kiss and makeout. I am now worried if I share the burden of zina? I hate what they are doing but that won’t change anything. If I say something, my relationship with him and his family might get spoiled.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
““… And every soul earns not [blame] except against itself, and no bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another…”” Surah Al-An’am (6:164) [1]
When witnessing haram or detrimental activities, a person should do what is within their ability to prevent the action. When this is not possible, they should at least either express their disapproval or hate the action internally. They should refrain from being in a position where they are enabling the person who is committing the act when possible. Regardless, a person who is not promoting or encouraging haram activities is not responsible for the actions of others, as a person’s sins are their own.[2]
The Messenger of Allah saw said: “He who amongst you sees something abominable should modify it with the help of his hand; and if he has not strength enough to do it, then he should do it with his tongue, and if he has not strength enough to do it, then he should (abhor it) from his heart, and that is the least of faith.” (Muslim) [3]
When it comes to the sins of others and ourselves, we are advised against publicly exposing a person for their sins, as this leads to a sin becoming normalised in society. When confronting a person about their sins, a Muslim should deal with the situation privately, in a manner which will produce positive results. It is unclear what the situation is like with your cousin’s family and whether you can seek help from them regarding this situation. As such, below are some suggestions for courses of action you can take if appropriate for your situation:
- Privately speak with your cousin regarding his conduct, expressing the severity of the sin and how this situation makes you feel. Suggest he hold a nikkah with this girl, if not, at least out of respect to you as his cousin.
- If appropriate, see if it is possible to discuss the matter with a trustworthy third party (mediator) present in order to facilitate discussions.
- Decline being the chaperone for your cousin, or bring someone else with you to these meetings who can prevent your cousin from committing zina.
- If your cousin is committing these acts in your presence, you should leave the place you are in if you can, as it is not permissible for you to watch such activities.[4]
“You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and believe in Allāh…” Surah Ali Imran (3:110) [5]
Only Allah ﷻ knows best.
Written by Muftiyah Maryam Badshah
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
References:
[1]
قُلْ أَغَيْرَ اللَّهِ أَبْغِي رَبًّا وَهُوَ رَبُّ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ ۚ وَلَا تَكْسِبُ كُلُّ نَفْسٍ إِلَّا عَلَيْهَا ۚ وَلَا تَزِرُ وَازِرَةٌ وِزْرَ أُخْرَىٰ ۚ ثُمَّ إِلَىٰ رَبِّكُم مَّرْجِعُكُمْ فَيُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ فِيهِ تَخْتَلِفُونَ
Qur’an (6:164)
[2]
Ma’āriful-Qur’ān (3:135) (Vol.2, pg.200-1, Maktaba-e-Darul-’Uloom, Karachi)
قَوْلُهُ كَبِيرَةٌ) الْأَصَحُّ أَنَّهَا كُلُّ مَا كَانَ شَنِيعًا بَيْنَ الْمُسْلِمِينَ وَفِيهِ هَتْكُ حُرْمَةِ الدِّينِ كَمَا بَسَطَهُ الْقُهُسْتَانِيُّ وَغَيْرُهُ كَذَا فِي شَرْحِ الْمُلْتَقَى
Raddul Muhtār (Vol.5, pg.473, Dār Al-Fiqr)
وَلِأَبِي حَنِيفَةَ إنَّ نَفْسَ الْحَمْلِ لَيْسَ بِمَعْصِيَةٍ بِدَلِيلِ أَنَّ حَمْلَهَا لِلْإِرَاقَةِ وَالتَّخْلِيلِ مُبَاحٌ وَكَذَا لَيْسَ بِسَبَبٍ لِلْمَعْصِيَةِ وَهُوَ الشُّرْبُ؛ لِأَنَّ ذَلِكَ يَحْصُلُ بِفِعْلِ فَاعِلٍ مُخْتَارٍ وَلَيْسَ الْحَمْلُ مِنْ ضَرُورَاتِ الشُّرْبِ فَكَانَتْ سَبَبًا مَحْضًا فَلَا حُكْمَ لَهُ كَعَصْرِ الْعِنَبِ وَقَطْفِهِ وَالْحَدِيثُ مَحْمُولٌ عَلَى الْحَمْلِ بِنِيَّةِ الشُّرْبِ
Badā’i’ Al-Ṣanā’i’ (Vol.4, pg.189-90, Dār Al-Kutub Al-’Ilmiyyah)
[3]
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا وَكِيعٌ، عَنْ سُفْيَانَ، ح وَحَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْمُثَنَّى، حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ جَعْفَرٍ، حَدَّثَنَا شُعْبَةُ، كِلاَهُمَا عَنْ قَيْسِ بْنِ مُسْلِمٍ، عَنْ طَارِقِ بْنِ شِهَابٍ، – وَهَذَا حَدِيثُ أَبِي بَكْرٍ – قَالَ أَوَّلُ مَنْ بَدَأَ بِالْخُطْبَةِ يَوْمَ الْعِيدِ قَبْلَ الصَّلاَةِ مَرْوَانُ فَقَامَ إِلَيْهِ رَجُلٌ فَقَالَ الصَّلاَةُ قَبْلَ الْخُطْبَةِ . فَقَالَ قَدْ تُرِكَ مَا هُنَالِكَ . فَقَالَ أَبُو سَعِيدٍ أَمَّا هَذَا فَقَدْ قَضَى مَا عَلَيْهِ سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ “ مَنْ رَأَى مِنْكُمْ مُنْكَرًا فَلْيُغَيِّرْهُ بِيَدِهِ فَإِنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَبِلِسَانِهِ فَإِنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَبِقَلْبِهِ وَذَلِكَ أَضْعَفُ الإِيمَانِ ” .
Sahih Muslim 49a (Bk.1, ch.20, sunnah.com)
[4]
حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الْعَزِيزِ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، حَدَّثَنَا إِبْرَاهِيمُ بْنُ سَعْدٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ أَخِي ابْنِ شِهَابٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ شِهَابٍ، عَنْ سَالِمِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ أَبَا هُرَيْرَةَ، يَقُولُ سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ “ كُلُّ أُمَّتِي مُعَافًى إِلاَّ الْمُجَاهِرِينَ، وَإِنَّ مِنَ الْمَجَانَةِ أَنْ يَعْمَلَ الرَّجُلُ بِاللَّيْلِ عَمَلاً، ثُمَّ يُصْبِحَ وَقَدْ سَتَرَهُ اللَّهُ، فَيَقُولَ يَا فُلاَنُ عَمِلْتُ الْبَارِحَةَ كَذَا وَكَذَا، وَقَدْ بَاتَ يَسْتُرُهُ رَبُّهُ وَيُصْبِحُ يَكْشِفُ سِتْرَ اللَّهِ عَنْهُ ”.
Sahih al-Bukhari 6069 (Bk.78, ch.60, sunnah.com)
… رَجُلٌ أَتَى بِفَاحِشَةٍ ثُمَّ تَابَ وَأَنَابَ إلَى اللَّهِ تَعَالَى فَإِنَّهُ لَا يَعْلَمُ الْقَاضِي بِفَاحِشَتِهِ لِإِقَامَةِ الْحَدِّ عَلَيْهِ؛ لِأَنَّ السَّتْرَ مَنْدُوبٌ إلَيْهِ
Raddul Muhtār (Vol.4, pg.4, Dār Al-Fiqr)
حَدَّثَنَا إِسْحَاقُ بْنُ مَنْصُورٍ، أَخْبَرَنَا أَبُو هِشَامٍ الْمَخْزُومِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا وُهَيْبٌ، حَدَّثَنَا سُهَيْلُ بْنُ أَبِي صَالِحٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ “ كُتِبَ عَلَى ابْنِ آدَمَ نَصِيبُهُ مِنَ الزِّنَى مُدْرِكٌ ذَلِكَ لاَ مَحَالَةَ فَالْعَيْنَانِ زِنَاهُمَا النَّظَرُ وَالأُذُنَانِ زِنَاهُمَا الاِسْتِمَاعُ وَاللِّسَانُ زِنَاهُ الْكَلاَمُ وَالْيَدُ زِنَاهَا الْبَطْشُ وَالرِّجْلُ زِنَاهَا الْخُطَا وَالْقَلْبُ يَهْوَى وَيَتَمَنَّى وَيُصَدِّقُ ذَلِكَ الْفَرْجُ وَيُكَذِّبُهُ ”.
Sahih Muslim 2657 (Bk.46, ch.5, sunnah.com)
[5]
كُنتُمْ خَيْرَ أُمَّةٍ أُخْرِجَتْ لِلنَّاسِ تَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَتَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ وَتُؤْمِنُونَ بِاللَّهِ ۗ وَلَوْ آمَنَ أَهْلُ الْكِتَابِ لَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَّهُم ۚ مِّنْهُمُ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ وَأَكْثَرُهُمُ الْفَاسِقُونَ
Qur’an (3:110)