Fatwa ID: 09350
Answered by Muftiyah Maryam Badshah
Question:
As-salāmu ʿAlaykum Wa-Raḥmatu-llāhi Wa-Barakātuhū,
With due respect, I have a question regarding marriage. I’m currently 20 years old and in a relationship with a girl. We met online in a community, we know each other extremely well but still have not seen each other in real till yet. We both have true feelings for each other and solely for marrying. After expressing our feelings to each other, al’hamdu’Lillah we both have left doing sins like listening to music, telling lies and etc, to make Allah happy and pleased and to help us become more pious. I’m doing Hifz and she also read Qur’an daily and we talk daily about Islam and telling each other about Islam. I want to ask that since we love each other solely for marrying, but at the moment it’s not possible because we both are studying and have to complete university so then we tell our parents about each other, so can we maintain this relationship like this till we get married while keeping it halal and what things we should avoid?
Looking forward for the answer, Jazak’Allahu Khair.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
In Islam, interactions with non-mahrams should be kept to a minimum even if the conversation is halal and you are encouraging each other towards good deeds, and when the need to converse is no longer present one should not continue with their interactions. Since you are both certain you are happy to marry after graduating, I would advise you to inform your parents and perform at least the nikah before continuing any future conversations. This would ensure your relationship remains halal and also allows for verification of each other’s identity and commitment to marriage.
Only Allah ﷻ knows best.
Written by Muftiyah Maryam Badshah
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
References:
وَلَا يَظُنُّ مَنْ لَا فِطْنَةَ عِنْدَهُ أَنَّا إذَا قُلْنَا صَوْتُ الْمَرْأَةِ عَوْرَةٌ أَنَّا نُرِيدُ بِذَلِكَ كَلَامَهَا، لِأَنَّ ذَلِكَ لَيْسَ بِصَحِيحٍ، فَإِذًا نُجِيزُ الْكَلَامَ مَعَ النِّسَاءِ لِلْأَجَانِبِ وَمُحَاوَرَتِهِنَّ عِنْدَ الْحَاجَةِ إلَى ذَلِكَ، وَلَا نُجِيزُ لَهُنَّ رَفْعَ أَصْوَاتِهِنَّ وَلَا تَمْطِيطَهَا وَلَا تَلْيِينَهَا وَتَقْطِيعَهَا لِمَا فِي ذَلِكَ مِنْ اسْتِمَالَةِ الرِّجَالِ إلَيْهِنَّ وَتَحْرِيكِ الشَّهَوَاتِ مِنْهُمْ
Raddul Muhtār (Vol.1, pg.406, Dār Al-Fiqr)
وَالْخَلْوَةُ الصَّحِيحَةُ أَنْ يَجْتَمِعَا فِي مَكَان لَيْسَ هُنَاكَ مَانِعٌ يَمْنَعُهُ مِنْ الْوَطْءِ حِسًّا أَوْ شَرْعًا أَوْ طَبْعًا، كَذَا فِي فَتَاوَى قَاضِي خَانْ وَالْخَلْوَةُ الْفَاسِدَةُ أَنْ لَا يَتَمَكَّنَ مِنْ الْوَطْءِ حَقِيقَةً…
Al-Fatāwa al-Hindiyyah (Vol.1, pg.304, Dār Al-Fiqr)