Fatwa ID: 08887
Answered by Alimah Humairah Badshah
Question:
Me and some friends, all male, have started an online coaching centre. some of our students are females, who have some problems in life or the other and ask us for advice.
One of them in particular dms me for advice, because I also make an effort to study Islam. Her father is dead, and a messy elopement has caused strained relations at home, and no longer lives with her husband, in such a state, she can’t ask anyone nearby for help, but at the same time I am unsure whether this is still ok?
The teacher I study with said since she is coming out of necessity and no one else to turn to and from a place of need for advice, it is generally ok but that these things can also lead to a gateway for evil, and hence i am confused. I know how they can be a gateway, but I also don’t know how to deal with it then in such a way that there is no attachment for me or for her, because even though there isn’t now, shaitan works in ways that can make it so.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
Talking to a non-mahram woman in a non-flirtatious manner and without desire is not prohibited, and written communication would not be considered under the prohibition of being in seclusion with a non-mahram woman. Nevertheless, engaging in such deep personal conversation with a non-mahram woman is still something which requires great caution and should be avoided where possible if it is not necessary.
To evaluate whether the conversation is necessary, one should explore all the other options available to you. If one is financially able, one should consider hiring a female member of staff to help female clients. If not, one can consider requesting the help of the female relatives of those already working in the coaching business to join as a staff member and coach female clients. One could also consider seeking female volunteers at one’s local masjid, or any relevant training centre if applicable.
Should it prove impossible to bring in a female staff member, one should consider whether it is possible to connect female clients to a female life-coaching service, advice helpline, or other such help. If the situation is quite severe, the female client in question may benefit from professional mental health services or counselling.
Should none of the above be possible, at the very least one should avoid being in private communication with female clients. A group should be made with at least three parties present, even if the third party is simply an observer who does not participate. This third party can easily be one of the other coaches, who presumably is already trained and understands confidentiality. This would be safer for both the coach and the client and, inshaAllah, would help avoid fitna and maintain a professional environment.
References:
ثُمَّ نَقَلَ عَنْ خَطِّ الْعَلَّامَةِ الْمَقْدِسِيَّ: ذَكَرَ الْإِمَامُ أَبُو الْعَبَّاسِ الْقُرْطُبِيُّ فِي كِتَابِهِ فِي السَّمَاعِ: وَلَا يَظُنُّ مَنْ لَا فِطْنَةَ عِنْدَهُ أَنَّا إذَا قُلْنَا صَوْتُ الْمَرْأَةِ عَوْرَةٌ أَنَّا نُرِيدُ بِذَلِكَ كَلَامَهَا، لِأَنَّ ذَلِكَ لَيْسَ بِصَحِيحٍ، فَإِذًا نُجِيزُ الْكَلَامَ مَعَ النِّسَاءِ لِلْأَجَانِبِ وَمُحَاوَرَتِهِنَّ عِنْدَ الْحَاجَةِ إلَى ذَلِكَ، وَلَا نُجِيزُ لَهُنَّ رَفْعَ أَصْوَاتِهِنَّ وَلَا تَمْطِيطَهَا وَلَا تَلْيِينَهَا وَتَقْطِيعَهَا لِمَا فِي ذَلِكَ مِنْ اسْتِمَالَةِ الرِّجَالِ إلَيْهِنَّ وَتَحْرِيكِ الشَّهَوَاتِ مِنْهُمْ، وَمِنْ هَذَا لَمْ يَجُزْ أَنْ تُؤَذِّنَ الْمَرْأَةُ. اهـ. قُلْت: وَيُشِيرُ إلَى هَذَا تَعْبِيرُ النَّوَازِلِ بِالنَّغْمَةِ
Radd Al-Muhtaar (Halabi ed., Daar Al-Fikr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.406
الْخَلْوَةُ بِالْأَجْنَبِيَّةِ حَرَامٌ
أَنَّ الْخَلْوَةَ الْمُحَرَّمَةَ تَنْتَفِي بِالْحَائِلِ
وَالظَّاهِرُ أَنَّ عِلَّةَ الْكَرَاهَةِ الْخَلْوَةُ، وَمُفَادُهُ أَنَّهَا تَنْتَفِي بِوُجُودِ رَجُلٍ آخَرَ
Radd Al-Muhtaar (Halabi ed., Daar Al-Fikr, https://shamela.ws) v.6 p.368-369
Only Allah (عز و جل) knows best.
Written by Alimah Humairah Badshah
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham