Fatwa ID: 09233
Answered by Muftiyah Maryam Badshah
Question:
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh May you please forward this question to the appropriate department,
I have a question regarding grief therapy and whether something would be permissible in Islam.
I have experienced three miscarriages and also lost my daughter in late pregnancy. I have struggled with infertility for nearly six years, and the grief from these losses has been very difficult. Some therapists recommend using a baby doll as a therapeutic tool to help mothers process grief and cope with the loss of a baby.
The doll I am referring to is similar to the baby dolls commonly sold in stores. It has realistic baby features (face, hands, and feet) with closed eyes. Some versions are also anatomically correct.
My question is: would it be permissible in Islam to keep or use such a doll specifically for the purpose of grief therapy and emotional healing after pregnancy loss? I would not use it for decoration or display, but only as part of coping with grief.
Jazkallah kheir.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
May Allah ﷻ ease your pain and grant you sakinah through your difficulties.
The rulings and principles regarding image making and drawing (taswir) are regarding owning and making animate objects. It is not permissible to purchase models or drawings of living creatures. In Islam, the use of dolls is considered permissible for young children. ‘Aisha ﵂ used to play with dolls before reaching puberty and the Prophet ﷺ did not stop her from doing so. However, it has also been deduced by scholars that the “dolls” of the time would most likely not have had the distinctive features of living creatures we see in many dolls today and therefore dolls with distinctive features, like the realistic “reborn dolls” you refer to, would not be allowed under normal circumstances.[1]
It was narrated by `Aisha ﵂: “I used to play with the dolls in the presence of the Prophet ﷺ, and my female friends also used to play with me. When Allah’s Messenger ﷺ used to enter (my dwelling place) they used to hide themselves, but he ﷺ would call them to join and play with me.” (Bukhari) [2]
Please note that I answer this question without knowing your full situation nor the extent of your grief. However, the use of such dolls do not have much, if any, medical research behind their usefulness in grief therapy, and I would have deep concerns regarding the emotional and cognitive impact of using such dolls. I suggest speaking with others who have experienced such loss and discussing what helped with their recovery, as well as seeking other places of support. Try to take solace in the fact that even the Prophet ﷺ underwent the grief of losing his sons and three of his daughters, as well as the immense protection Allah ﷻ grants to those who undergo such devastating pain.
Narrated Anas bin Malik ﵁: We went with Allah’s Messenger ﷺ to the blacksmith Abu Saif, and he was the husband of the wet-nurse of Ibrahim (the son of the Prophet). Allah’s Messenger ﷺ took Ibrahim and kissed him and smelled him and later we entered Abu Saif’s house and at that time Ibrahim was in his last breaths, and the eyes of Allah’s Messenger ﷺ started shedding tears. ‘Abdur Rahman bin `Auf said, “O Allah’s Apostle, even you are weeping!” He said, “O Ibn ‘Auf, this is mercy.” Then he wept more and said, “The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord, O Ibrahim ! Indeed we are grieved by your separation.” (Bukhari) [3]
Allah’s Messenger ﷺ said to a woman of the Ansar: “In case anyone amongst you sees the sad demise of three children of (hers) and she resigns herself to the will of Allah hoping to get reward, she would be admitted to Paradise.” A woman from amongst them said: “Allah’s Messenger, even if they (the children who die) are two?” Thereupon, he (the Holy Prophet, ) said: “Even if they are two.” (Muslim) [4]
Only Allah ﷻ knows best.
Written by Muftiyah Maryam Badshah
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
References:
[1]
الصُّورَةُ عَامٌّ فِي ذِي الرُّوحِ وَغَيْرِهِ، وَالتِّمْثَالُ خَاصٌّ بِمِثَالِ ذِي الرُّوحِ وَيَأْتِي أَنَّ غَيْرَ ذِي الرُّوحِ لَا يُكْرَهُ قَالَ الْقُهُسْتَانِيُّ: وَفِيهِ إشْعَارٌ بِأَنَّهُ لَا تُكْرَهُ صُورَةُ الرَّأْسِ، وَفِيهِ خِلَافٌ كَمَا فِي اتِّخَاذِهَا كَذَا فِي الْمُحِيطِ، قَالَ فِي الْبَحْرِ: وَفِي الْخُلَاصَةِ وَتُكْرَهُ التَّصَاوِيرُ عَلَى الثَّوْبِ صَلَّى فِيهِ أَوْ لَا انْتَهَى، وَهَذِهِ الْكَرَاهَةُ تَحْرِيمِيَّةٌ. وَظَاهِرُ كَلَامِ النَّوَوِيِّ فِي شَرْحِ مُسْلِمٍ الْإِجْمَاعُ عَلَى تَحْرِيمِ تَصْوِيرِ الْحَيَوَانِ، وَقَالَ: وَسَوَاءٌ صَنَعَهُ لِمَا يُمْتَهَنُ أَوْ لِغَيْرِهِ، فَصَنْعَتُهُ حَرَامٌ بِكُلِّ حَالٍ لِأَنَّ فِيهِ مُضَاهَاةَ لِخَلْقِ اللَّهِ تَعَالَى، وَسَوَاءٌ كَانَ فِي ثَوْبٍ أَوْ بِسَاطٍ أَوْ دِرْهَمٍ وَإِنَاءٍ وَحَائِطٍ وَغَيْرِهَا اهـ فَيَنْبَغِي أَنْ يَكُونَ حَرَامًا لَا مَكْرُوهًا إنْ ثَبَتَ الْإِجْمَاعُ أَوْ قَطْعِيَّةُ الدَّلِيلِ بِتَوَاتُرِهِ
Raddul Muhtār (Vol.1, pg.647, Dār Al-Fiqr)
حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ عَوْفٍ، حَدَّثَنَا سَعِيدُ بْنُ أَبِي مَرْيَمَ، أَخْبَرَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ أَيُّوبَ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي عُمَارَةُ بْنُ غَزِيَّةَ، أَنَّ مُحَمَّدَ بْنَ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، حَدَّثَهُ عَنْ أَبِي سَلَمَةَ بْنِ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، رضى الله عنها قَالَتْ قَدِمَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم مِنْ غَزْوَةِ تَبُوكَ أَوْ خَيْبَرَ وَفِي سَهْوَتِهَا سِتْرٌ فَهَبَّتْ رِيحٌ فَكَشَفَتْ نَاحِيَةَ السِّتْرِ عَنْ بَنَاتٍ لِعَائِشَةَ لُعَبٍ فَقَالَ ” مَا هَذَا يَا عَائِشَةُ ” . قَالَتْ بَنَاتِي . وَرَأَى بَيْنَهُنَّ فَرَسًا لَهُ جَنَاحَانِ مِنْ رِقَاعٍ فَقَالَ ” مَا هَذَا الَّذِي أَرَى وَسْطَهُنَّ ” . قَالَتْ فَرَسٌ . قَالَ ” وَمَا هَذَا الَّذِي عَلَيْهِ ” . قَالَتْ جَنَاحَانِ . قَالَ ” فَرَسٌ لَهُ جَنَاحَانِ ” . قَالَتْ أَمَا سَمِعْتَ أَنَّ لِسُلَيْمَانَ خَيْلاً لَهَا أَجْنِحَةٌ قَالَتْ فَضَحِكَ حَتَّى رَأَيْتُ نَوَاجِذَهُ .
Sunan Abu Dawud 4932 (Bk.43, ch.62, sunnah.com)
[2]
حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدٌ، أَخْبَرَنَا أَبُو مُعَاوِيَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامٌ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ ـ رضى الله عنها ـ قَالَتْ كُنْتُ أَلْعَبُ بِالْبَنَاتِ عِنْدَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَكَانَ لِي صَوَاحِبُ يَلْعَبْنَ مَعِي، فَكَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم إِذَا دَخَلَ يَتَقَمَّعْنَ مِنْهُ، فَيُسَرِّبُهُنَّ إِلَىَّ فَيَلْعَبْنَ مَعِي.
Sahih Al-Bukhāri 6130 (Bk.78, ch.81, sunnah.com)
[3]
حَدَّثَنَا الْحَسَنُ بْنُ عَبْدِ الْعَزِيزِ، حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ حَسَّانَ، حَدَّثَنَا قُرَيْشٌ ـ هُوَ ابْنُ حَيَّانَ ـ عَنْ ثَابِتٍ، عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ قَالَ دَخَلْنَا مَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم عَلَى أَبِي سَيْفٍ الْقَيْنِ ـ وَكَانَ ظِئْرًا لإِبْرَاهِيمَ ـ عَلَيْهِ السَّلاَمُ ـ فَأَخَذَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم إِبْرَاهِيمَ فَقَبَّلَهُ وَشَمَّهُ، ثُمَّ دَخَلْنَا عَلَيْهِ بَعْدَ ذَلِكَ، وَإِبْرَاهِيمُ يَجُودُ بِنَفْسِهِ، فَجَعَلَتْ عَيْنَا رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم تَذْرِفَانِ. فَقَالَ لَهُ عَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنُ عَوْفٍ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ وَأَنْتَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ فَقَالَ ” يَا ابْنَ عَوْفٍ إِنَّهَا رَحْمَةٌ ”. ثُمَّ أَتْبَعَهَا بِأُخْرَى فَقَالَ صلى الله عليه وسلم ” إِنَّ الْعَيْنَ تَدْمَعُ، وَالْقَلْبَ يَحْزَنُ، وَلاَ نَقُولُ إِلاَّ مَا يَرْضَى رَبُّنَا، وَإِنَّا بِفِرَاقِكَ يَا إِبْرَاهِيمُ لَمَحْزُونُونَ ”. رَوَاهُ مُوسَى عَنْ سُلَيْمَانَ بْنِ الْمُغِيرَةِ عَنْ ثَابِتٍ عَنْ أَنَسٍ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم.
Sahih al-Bukhari 1303 (Bk.23, ch.43, sunnah.com)
[4]
حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ بْنُ سَعِيدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الْعَزِيزِ، – يَعْنِي ابْنَ مُحَمَّدٍ – عَنْ سُهَيْلٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ لِنِسْوَةٍ مِنَ الأَنْصَارِ ” لاَ يَمُوتُ لإِحْدَاكُنَّ ثَلاَثَةٌ مِنَ الْوَلَدِ فَتَحْتَسِبَهُ إِلاَّ دَخَلَتِ الْجَنَّةَ ” . فَقَالَتِ امْرَأَةٌ مِنْهُنَّ أَوِ اثْنَيْنِ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ قَالَ ” أَوِ اثْنَيْنِ ” .
Sahih Muslim 2632c (Bk.45, ch.47, sunnah.com)