Advice on Getting Married

My girlfriend and I are still students in our local university. We’ve been best friends since we’re in high school. And it has been 4 years until now. So after all, we’ve decided that we want to get married and live together in halal way.

But, the problem comes up when we discussed on how to tell our parents. We’re both 21 and students, not holding any financial support unless our own studies loan until 2013 insha Allah. I want to have your opinions abut this. What do you think? What do you suggest because we’re afraid of been so close together all over the time and then we’re close to something not good in our relationship as you well-know.

In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful.

Answer

First and foremost you should stop all types of communication and connection with this sister, as she is unlawful for you until the marriage is done. You should not think or contemplate a future with her until the marriage is done. This is nothing but Satan trying to lead you astray. Allah (SWA) has said, “Verily Satan is an enemy to you: so treat him as an enemy. He only invites his adherents that they may become Companions of the Blazing Fire.” (Surah Fatir v.6)

If you really want to marry this sister, you will need to go about things in a correct manner, which includes getting both your parents and family involved.

My sincere advice will be is try to get some of your family members involved, like your elder brother or any one respectable in the community like the local Imam and see whether they can speak to both your parents.

In the mean time, as mentioned above, if you really want Allah (SWA) blessings and the marriage to happen then please for your sake stop all communications with this sister. If you do really need to communicate with her then it should either be done through a third party or by email. Also continue praying the Istikharah Salah.

Only Allah Knows Best

Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham

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