I think there is a masala that if a man has sexual desire, then he can relieve himself by himself (i.e. with his hands).
Someone asked that if there is such a masala, then can a woman also relieve herself like so? For example, if she is married and her husband travels for long periods of time for business, four months jamaat, etc, what can a woman do if she's feeling sexually excited?
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Allah Almighty states, “Success is really attained by the believers …. who guard their private parts except from their wives or from those (bondwomen who are) owned by their hands, as they are not to be blamed. However, those who seek (sexual pleasure) beyond that are the transgressors” (Surah al Mu'minoon)
In regards to the above question, one must understand that to relieve oneself with one's hands is a major sin and disliked by Allah (swt).
Firstly, it is important to understand the masala. In the Hanafi Fiqh, such an action is not allowed and is counted as a sin.
In the abovementioned conditions, with regards to controlling oneself when such urges come, one should try one's best to completely avoid anything that leads to the sin.
Below are some things which may help somebody experiencing such a predicament:
- Contemplate that Allah, the Almighty, is watching me and knows what I am doing
- Resort to fasting as fasting suppresses the desires
- Practice lowering the gaze
- Staying away from bad company
- Avoid hanging around places where one may indulge in fitna (e.g. shopping malls)
However, if one still feels the same way, then the fuqaha mention that if a person fears that he will fall into actual zina because of uncontrollable desire, or because of his spouse being far away (bearing in mind that one has taken up other measures which lessen the desires as mentioned above), only then will we say that if he indulges in such a sin, maybe he won't be as sinful as one who committed zina. The reason being that it's the lesser of the two evils.
Only Allah knows best
Written by Maulana Belaal Ahmed
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
 Raddul Muhtar