Fatwa ID: 08692

 

 

Answered by: Maulana Nuski Cassim

 

Question:

 

I would like to ask that I’m married and over the years my wife has been getting the benefits of children. I used to ignore this and do spend on the household, on her etc but lately I realised the amount she received is almost equivalent to my Salary. She has never worked in her life and a few times I asked her to tell me how much money she gets so that I know where it is going but e every time she refused and said that it’s not my money and I have nothing to do with this.

 

Considering that this to be a deception – I stopped spending my money on her and on household as now I only pay my share of the mortgage and of course I do spend on my children. My wife is also very abusive and has no Respect for a husband at all.

 

I would like to know the Islamic aspect to this situation as to whether I’ll be held accountable on the day of judgement as the amount she gets is more than enough to cover household monthly expenses bills etc and food clothing.

 

 

 

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

 

Answer:

 

The ‘Benefits of Children’ payment given by the government is a financial aid which is to help in the cost of raising children. It is not necessarily for the wife or the husband, but rather for the expenditure towards the upbringing of one’s children. The couple should collectively decide and allocate where the money will go.

 

Transparency is a key ingredient when it comes to a thriving and successful marriage. It is not correct for your wife to refuse to tell you how much aid is being received; this is something you should have known from the inception of such payments or upon approval [of payments].

 

Be that as it may, it is incorrect for you to stop spending on your wife in respect to maintenance and upon your household. In the case where your wife was employed or had her own business, you would still be obligated to spend on her as her receiving an income does not do away with your lifelong financial obligation towards her.[1]

 

You mention that you pay your share of the mortgage. If an arrangement was made between you and your wife that each of you would make a payment [fixed amount or percentage] towards the mortgage prior to assuming the house, then your wife is to uphold that arrangement—as living in a full-fledged house is not an inherited right.

 

However, if this is not the case, then you are solely responsible for the mortgage payments and other financial duties entrusted and obligated upon you by Allah ﷻ.

 

Abuse by the female spouse is something which is unfortunately grossly overlooked. It is a major sin, whether perpetrated by the wife or the husband.

 

“سِبَابُ الْمُسْلِمِ فُسُوقٌ”

 

The Prophet ﷺ said, on the authority of ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (ra) that, ‘‘Abusing a Muslim is disobedience…”  – [جامع الترمذي، رقم الحديث ٢٦٣٥]

 

Allah ﷻ enjoins good treatment between spouses and the Prophet ﷺ has promised Jannah for the wife whose husband is pleased with her; and there is no husband who is happy with a disrespectful wife.

 

“أَيُّمَا امْرَأَةٍ مَاتَتْ وَزَوْجُهَا عَنْهَا رَاضٍ دَخَلَتِ الْجَنَّةَ”

 

Umm Salamah (ra) narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said, “Whichever woman dies while her husband is pleased with her, then she will enter paradise.” – [جامع الترمذي، رقم الحديث ١١٦١]

 

 

 

 

 

References:

 

النفقة واجبة للزوجة على زوجها، مسلما كانت أو كافرةً، إذا سلّمت نفسها في منزله فعيله نفقتُها وكسوتها وسُكناها، يُعتبر ذلك بحالهما جميعا، مُوْسرا كان الزوج أو مُعْسرا

[مختصر القدوري، كتاب النفقة، صفحة ٦٤٦، مكتبة البشرى]

 

ونفقة الأولاد الصغار على الأب، لا يشاركه فيها أحد، كما لا يشاركه في نفقة الزوجة أحد

[مختصر القدوري، كتاب النفقة، صفحة ٦٥٢، مكتبة البشرى]

 

 

 

 

Only Allah knows best.

Written by Maulana Nuski Cassim

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham