Fatwa ID: 09113
Answered by Muftiyah Maryam Badshah
Question:
Not until a short while ago, I had been living my life in very wrong ways. I committed big sins even though I knew what haram is, since I grew up in a muslim household & country. What’s worse is, I was open about my sins, meaning I would talk about them if asked or in friend groups or while talking to the opposite gender etc. I did not know that it is wajib to keep your sins covered, and instead, I thought I had to be transparent as a person since I cannot change what I did in the past.
I recently became very distant to this old version of me, realized how stupid I was, and started changing. I do not want to be defined by my mistakes any more. I pushed everyone away, made istighfar and now I find peace in solitude. Allah is the most forgiving and I have no doubts of that, but I still cannot seem to let go of the thoughts regarding to my past. I left everyone’s lives without dropping any clear signs of change, and I get anxiety whenever I think of what other people think of and know about me, they can just testify against me anytime and anywhere. What to do?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
When it comes to the sins of others and ourselves, we are advised against publicly exposing these sins, as this leads to a sin becoming normalised in society. You have stated that you have only recently left the sins you were committing, without telling others about your intent to improve and rectify yourself. As such, you should first focus on reforming and improving yourself to a point where you are certain you will not return to committing these sins again. Once you have full conviction that you would not be tempted to repeat these sins even when faced with the environment in which you were in before, then you can consider getting re-acquainted with your past. Depending on the situation, you may also wish to have someone else act as an intermediary or keep you company when interacting with these acquaintances if you plan to proceed.[1]
As you have not stated what these sins were, only you are more aware of your personal situation. If people have been wronged by your actions, they have the right to seek redress for any wrong committed against them, even if the wrong-doer is remorseful or has decided to change their ways. Seeking forgiveness from Allah ﷻ for a sin is to seek the forgiveness of Allah ﷻ for disobeying His commands. It does not nullify the rights of others over you and neither does it automatically absolve the individual from having to rectify their actions or seek the forgiveness of those they have wronged. If you have wronged others and you fear the consequences of your actions, you should also sincerely seek the forgiveness of those you have wronged, and seek to redress any harm you have caused.[2]
Allah (ﷻ) says in the Qur’an: “And those who, when they commit an immorality or wrong themselves, remember Allah and seek forgiveness for their sins – and who can forgive sins except Allah? – and they do not persist in what they have done whilst they know.” Surah Āl ‘Imrān (3:135) [3]
Only Allah ﷻ knows best.
Written by Muftiyah Maryam Badshah
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
References:
[1]
حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الْعَزِيزِ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، حَدَّثَنَا إِبْرَاهِيمُ بْنُ سَعْدٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ أَخِي ابْنِ شِهَابٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ شِهَابٍ، عَنْ سَالِمِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ أَبَا هُرَيْرَةَ، يَقُولُ سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ “ كُلُّ أُمَّتِي مُعَافًى إِلاَّ الْمُجَاهِرِينَ، وَإِنَّ مِنَ الْمَجَانَةِ أَنْ يَعْمَلَ الرَّجُلُ بِاللَّيْلِ عَمَلاً، ثُمَّ يُصْبِحَ وَقَدْ سَتَرَهُ اللَّهُ، فَيَقُولَ يَا فُلاَنُ عَمِلْتُ الْبَارِحَةَ كَذَا وَكَذَا، وَقَدْ بَاتَ يَسْتُرُهُ رَبُّهُ وَيُصْبِحُ يَكْشِفُ سِتْرَ اللَّهِ عَنْهُ ”.
Sahih al-Bukhari 6069 (Bk.78, ch.60, sunnah.com)
(قَوْلُهُ: وَمَحْكُومٌ بِهِ) وَهُوَ أَرْبَعَةُ أَقْسَامٍ حَقُّ اللَّهِ تَعَالَى الْمَحْضُ كَحَدِّ الزِّنَا أَوْ الْخَمْرِ، وَحَقُّ الْعَبْدِ الْمَحْضُ، وَهُوَ ظَاهِرٌ وَمَا فِيهِ الْحَقَّانِ وَغَلَبَ فِيهِ حَقُّ اللَّهِ تَعَالَى كَحَدِّ الْقَذْفِ أَوْ السَّرِقَةِ أَوْ غَلَبَ فِيهِ حَقُّ الْعَبْدِ كَالْقِصَاصِ وَالتَّعْزِيرِ…
(قَوْلُهُ: وَلَهُ) أَيْ وَمَحْكُومٌ لَهُ وَهُوَ الشَّرْعُ كَمَا فِي حُقُوقِهِ الْمَحْضَةِ أَوْ الَّتِي غَلَبَ فِيهَا حَقُّهُ وَلَا حَاجَةَ فِي ذَلِكَ إلَى الدَّعْوَى بِخِلَافِ مَا تَمَحَّضَ فِيهَا حَقُّ الْعَبْدِ أَوْ غَلَبَ وَالْعَبْدُ هُوَ الْمُدَّعِي، وَعَرَّفُوهُ بِمَنْ لَا يُجْبَرُ عَلَى الْخُصُومَةِ إذَا تَرَكَهَا، وَقِيلَ غَيْرُ ذَلِكَ…
Raddul Muhtār (Vol.5, pg.353, Dār Al-Fiqr)
[مَطْلَبٌ تَوْبَةُ الْيَأْسِ مَقْبُولَةٌ دُونَ إيمَانِ الْيَأْسِ]
(وَكُلُّ مُسْلِمٍ ارْتَدَّ فَتَوْبَتُهُ مَقْبُولَةٌ إلَّا) جَمَاعَةٌ مَنْ تَكَرَّرَتْ رِدَّتُهُ عَلَى مَا مَرَّ وَ (الْكَافِرُ بِسَبِّ نَبِيٍّ) مِنْ الْأَنْبِيَاءِ فَإِنَّهُ يُقْتَلُ حَدًّا وَلَا تُقْبَلُ تَوْبَتُهُ مُطْلَقًا، وَلَوْ سَبَّ اللَّهَ تَعَالَى قُبِلَتْ لِأَنَّهُ حَقُّ اللَّهِ تَعَالَى، وَالْأَوَّلُ حَقُّ عَبْدٍ لَا يَزُولُ بِالتَّوْبَةِ…
–
…(قَوْلُهُ الْكَافِرُ بِسَبِّ نَبِيٍّ)… قَوْلَهُ وَلَا تُقْبَلُ تَوْبَتُهُ لِأَنَّ الْحَدَّ لَا يَسْقُطُ بِالتَّوْبَةِ فَهُوَ عَطْفُ تَفْسِيرٍ؛ وَأَفَادَ أَنَّهُ حُكْمُ الدُّنْيَا، أَمَّا عِنْدَ اللَّهِ تَعَالَى فَهِيَ مَقْبُولَةٌ كَمَا فِي الْبَحْرِ… (قَوْلُهُ لِأَنَّهُ حَقُّ عَبْدٍ) فِيهِ أَنَّ حَقَّ الْعَبْدِ لَا يَسْقُطُ إذَا طَالَبَ بِهِ كَحَدِّ الْقَذْفِ، فَلَا بُدَّ هُنَا مِنْ دَلِيلٍ يَدُلُّ عَلَى أَنَّ الْحَاكِمَ لَهُ هَذِهِ الْمُطَالَبَةُ وَلَمْ يَثْبُتْ، وَإِنَّمَا الثَّابِتُ أَنَّهُ – صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ – عَفَا عَنْ كَثِيرِينَ مِمَّنْ آذَوْهُ وَشَتَمُوهُ وَقَبِلَ إسْلَامَهُمْ كَأَبِي سُفْيَانَ وَغَيْرِهِ…
Raddul Muhtār (Vol.4, pg.231-2, Dār Al-Fiqr)
[2]
Ma’āriful-Qur’ān (3:135) (Vol.2, pg.200-1, Maktaba-e-Darul-’Uloom, Karachi)
(قَوْلُهُ كَبِيرَةٌ) الْأَصَحُّ أَنَّهَا كُلُّ مَا كَانَ شَنِيعًا بَيْنَ الْمُسْلِمِينَ وَفِيهِ هَتْكُ حُرْمَةِ الدِّينِ كَمَا بَسَطَهُ الْقُهُسْتَانِيُّ وَغَيْرُهُ كَذَا فِي شَرْحِ الْمُلْتَقَى
Raddul Muhtār (Vol.5, pg.473, Dār Al-Fiqr)
ثُمَّ اعْلَمْ أَنَّ تَجْوِيزَهُمْ تَكْفِيرَ الْكَبَائِرِ بِالْهِجْرَةِ وَالْحَجِّ مُنَافٍ لِنَقْلِ عِيَاضٍ الْإِجْمَاعَ عَلَى أَنَّهُ لَا يُكَفِّرُهَا إلَّا التَّوْبَةُ وَلَا سِيَّمَا عَلَى الْقَوْلِ بِتَكْفِيرِ الْمَظَالِمِ أَيْضًا، بَلْ الْقَوْلُ بِتَكْفِيرِ إثْمِ الْمَطْلِ وَتَأْخِيرِ الصَّلَاةِ يُنَافِيهِ لِأَنَّهُ كَبِيرَةٌ وَقَدْ كَفَّرَهَا الْحَجُّ بِلَا تَوْبَةٍ.
Raddul Muhtār (Vol.2, pg.624, Dār Al-Fiqr)
[3]
وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا فَعَلُوا فَاحِشَةً أَوْ ظَلَمُوا أَنفُسَهُمْ ذَكَرُوا اللَّهَ فَاسْتَغْفَرُوا لِذُنُوبِهِمْ وَمَن يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَلَمْ يُصِرُّوا عَلَىٰ مَا فَعَلُوا وَهُمْ يَعْلَمُونَ
Qur’an (3:135)